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April 13, 2006

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V or just assquation for short

Humor, health and lifestyle — by TDavid @ 12:37 pm PST
New! F = please no more posts like thisD = not among your best stuffC = average postB = good post, I liked itA = great post, please create more like this (Hmm, no ratings yet)
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Just what math nerds need: a way to figure out who has the nicest butt:

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V where … S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

I’m not sure how to comment on this one, but it made me go hmm enough to dial up some famous women’s butts in Google Image and try to work out the formula.

This picture of Jennifer Aniston seems to be making the rounds, pardon the pun. I halfway thought about whipping up some PHP code to work out this formula … ok, why not.

$S = 4; // overall shape or droopiness of bottom
$C = 4; // how spherical the buttocks are
$B = 4; // muscular wobble or bounce
$F = 3; // firmness
$T = 4; // measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite
$V = ($S+$C)*($B+$F)/$T;
echo($V);

I’m not coming up with a perfect 80 even when using 5 for all (comes up as 20 and Jennifer Aniston by my assement is a 14) in these so my assquation must be borked. I didn’t read closely enough to convert the code correctly. Feel free to debug in the comments, just leave off the > and < or the comments might eat your calculations.

Thanks Metafilter.

RSS Feed comments for this post 6 Comments »

  1. Someone left out the variable for airbrushing ;P

    Comment by ^Lestat — April 13, 2006 @ 12:42 pm PST

  2. I ran the formula through Mathematica and got the same results you did. In fact, if you assume that all the qualities must be ranked on the same scale, the maximum for any individual quality must be 20, not 5. After a bit of digging, I found a Fox News article that confirms my analysis that 20 is the maximum (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,191622,00.html).

    Comment by Andrew Ferguson — April 13, 2006 @ 3:17 pm PST

  3. The score goes up as T goes down. You can get 100 if T is 1 and everything else is 5. If T is 0, you get divide by zero.

    Comment by Sterling Camden — April 13, 2006 @ 5:11 pm PST

  4. […] Link: World’s most expensive sandwich: Link: (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V […]

    Pingback by Graham English’s Integral Conversations » I’ll have a $149 sandwich and a perfect ass please… — April 13, 2006 @ 5:20 pm PST

  5. Thanks for ‘crack’ing the code, Sterling ;)

    Comment by TDavid — April 14, 2006 @ 11:05 am PST

  6. ‘crack’, ha! At least I wasn’t the butt of that joke.

    Comment by Sterling Camden — April 14, 2006 @ 2:06 pm PST


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