The following link is a little old but definitely still useful: IVR Cheat Sheet, I remember this making the rounds and thinking, that’s a really handy reference to have when you need to call some major company and end up in their automated phone hell.

Check this, I have a Capital One credit card and it hasn’t worked since they sent me the updated card. When I received the new card I called the 800 number and activated it. Yet every time I’ve tried to use the thing it just gets denied. So I call the 800 number and get their machine. If you have a Capital One credit card than just turn over the card and call the number, now try to actually find an option for accessing a human being: there isn’t one!

None of the main or sub menu options initially offer any way to connect to a human operator. There is a #4 option that goes to more options but none of those options lead to a human either. WTF?

So I consulted the handy IVR Cheat Sheet and lo and behold all I needed to do to get to a human being was … nothing. Just wait there listening to the machine repeat itself until it offered the magic human being option.

I’m all for machines and automation of things but this is going way too far. Let’s get back to a real human being answering the phone — or being the #1 option in a phone system instead of having to resort to a cheat sheet by company. This is the kind of thing that Clark Howard calls customer noservice.

BTW, the problem was that my card never in fact was activated, even though I called the number and spoke to someone who said it was. They activated it and all was well.

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