Forget Pirates of the Carribean, let’s just CGI in some skeletons, shave off the last couple title words, spoof the Carribean packaging, add some generously busty females and dress up a bunch of horny pirates. Oh, and yes, we need a boat!

On May 2, a Brain Zoo representative named Ali Davoudian e-mailed this film synopsis to Bounty officials (complete with misspellings): “The movie is a comedy Sinbad type of film in quest of a magical scepter with lots of special effects and sward fighting with skeletons etc … It is not going to be released in the theater it is going to be on TV like showtime. As far as rating I would say PG-13.”

“There was nothing in the script that indicated there was anything perverse,” said Hansen, the ship’s owner.

Turns out this was only partly true. Yes, it wasn’t going to be released in the theater, but no, it wasn’t going to be rated PG-13. And of course almost everything in the script turned out to be perverse. Especially when the sex scenes were edited in from back on the studio.

Porn movies with bigger — uh, no, not that, I was going to say budgets. I’m not sure Pirates will be any Deep Throat or Debbie Does Dallas, but why not fill up a few more porn movies with CGI. If Lucasfilms runs short on dough, they can always turn their animations to the Dark Side.

Did this post make you go hmm?

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